Archive for the fear Category

Finding strength from my passion

Posted in acceptance, communication, famelab, fear, passion, public speaking, science, Uncategorized on March 4, 2016 by angiegiegie

It has been three days since I got eliminated from the semi-final round of Famelab Torino. It was a good fight even if it was something that I was still unfamiliar with. Communicating science sounds easy from a bird’s eye-view but it isn’t. Before walking up that stage, I was a bit anxious on how to prepare my 3-minutes pitch. Being able to speak out a specific scientific topic for that brief amount of time is a challenge. I was up against many who spent countless days explaining to the public how their science works. I, of course, started from nothing. I was a rookie and to be able to go past the first round was already a breakthrough. Of course, I am still learning little by little. What I have always pictured in my mind aren’t how things are in reality. I still have to step up my game even if it takes months, or years, for me to do so.

I am not a natural born prodige when it comes to public speaking. I listened with enthusiasm to people who affirm their beliefs and opinions in public.  It is an all different ball game for me compared to writing, which I have developed over the years. Despite my interest for speeches, I fail to picture myself speaking in front of a crowd. Public speaking was not my forte but if I pushed for it, people might listen to me. So I tried. Nothing much to lose anyway, I thought. I curse a bit in silence when my unconsciousness craved for perfection, but the show must go on. So I did, a few days ago. I was not there for the fame. I was there to kick myself out of the shadows and fears, and tried to prove myself that I am someone worth listening to.

Events like Famelab pushed me out of my comfort zones when I only get to perform experiments nowadays. Perhaps I can get a beer or two with friends and share my science but I don’t do that. Will people tire themselves listening to when I talk about the science behind my work? I knew that I am much more than my profession yet I obliterate my value to my friends and strangers on what I do. You know, I am not a woman with a strong heart so it is hard for me to get by with confirmation. Time, and time again, I struggled. I knew that the fear is still there, not as big as it used to be, but I can still feel it. Despite my countless fears, I try to accept it and fight it – not an easy one, but I hope to go past it, and be a woman I can always count on. I have always dreamt of speaking out loud the science I am working on, and why it matters. The news I scroll over the web don’t talk about materials. Not really. They talk about the popular science behind astrophysics and neurobiology. I am pretty sure that other scientists in these said fields are doing a great deal to change people’s perspective on science. But what about the other fields? Science for the public became narrow that many are misinformed of the many possibilities our future holds. Sad? Yes, and I want to change that. With that said, I have to let go at a certain point, these fears of people’s judgment over me, and public speaking.

If not, until when will I hide from the world when there are so many things to share, apart from the general interests of the public?

From here onwards, I will make it a point with my will power to share to you, piece by piece, the fascinating world of materials, be they big, or small (apart from the other things I can talk about to anyone!)