It has been a year since I last wrote anything out of the context of science…
Then again, why should I stop myself from writing even when I have to work on my research? I just realized that I have failed in communicating or expressing myself on anything I am passionate about like politics, art, science, etc. EVERYTHING! Ok, perhaps I reserved another blog/journal for my notes on travelling yet, I realized that I should devote a part of my time in this, writing about anything, sharing what I feel, and think.
Writing has been my passion since I was a toddler yet I have always lacked the discipline to write constantly. Every single time I start a journal, I fail to reach to my 5th entry. Fail – what a strong word. I know. Yet it is in failure that we learn.
I should not feel bad for missing out on this, writing for fun, though I kinda do. I guess I have those moments that I lose myself in my work, in my free time exploring the city I have been settling, the sports and the activities that I have been discovering – yes, I make sure that I find time for a lot of things I am passionate about, apart from writing on what comes to my mind.
My thoughts have been clearer now that year has passed. I usually could not muster my brain to let the words flow out of my mouth, nor through my finger tips. I was always in doubt, depressed, perplexed, you know, those kind of feelings millenials grieve upon. Yet, I found my way back, through a series of life-changing experiences for the past year.
Maybe I have not been writing a lot, but I knew for my part, that I discovered so much of myself, be it the best things that I possess yet, which I was not aware of, or of my worst traits that have only shown this past year under massive stress called, the PhD life. Yeah, I guess you can picture those series of PhD comic strips coming to life at the back of your mind. It kinda is like that, though I try to keep my sanity aftermy job’s done for the day.
I guess I tried to listen to my body, my mind, and my soul, more often now than before, that I manage to write all these paragraphs now. Rejuvinating? Yes, definitely.
Now I guess you’d expect that I pop out a thing or two from this journal/blog on any opinion or idea I can come up with. Then I guess, you would definitely also see out of surprise, a bit of what I do, the magic behind the science I am working on. I am not very public about it, but you know, never hurts to share a bit of the technical side to the public, in a gentle way.
Why should science be presented in complex, and sophisticated manner? It is in its simple expression that people are in awe. I am talking about Einstein, Feynman, Fermi, and Dirac here. They were fantastic. They gave some light in man’s darkest moments. One of my dreams was to be like them – maybe not a genius, but to be able to let that awe and wonder continue to shock the people. We already lost that somehow. I feel like I need to be able to bring out the magic in people’s eyes, and let creativity come into the world again.
Dreams. They can hurt, or burn, but they live on.