Growing (Old) with Love
Being in love and staying in love, we’ve been told this many times while staying in the university. While waiting for emancipation from my writer’s block, I repeated this phrase over and over again. I do not really want to talk about love but something, I don’t recall of – maybe on life, or the whatnots it has let me see for the past two years while staying abroad.
Those sunny shores, walking on the beach type of stories become a bit of a cliché now that I’m living in one of the few port cities here in Europe, as well as being a local in one of the countries eyed on by many as the best places to go to as retirees. Coastal shores have always given me a sense of assurance and calmness, maybe because I was brought up loving the water while being under the sun. That mere sight of seeing the sand, the pebbles, the boats, and the people bathing, never fail to take my breath away – no matter how old I have become these past couple of years.
Then there’s writing something out of nothing. I haven’t written something very captivating while displaying this sort of playful tone for ages. Science has outgrown me, while events age me. Funny as it seems, I learn to grow and to smile while trying not to frown as much as I used to. My glasses show my maturity as they change every now and then. My delusion of growing up has somehow refined over some time as well. There’s still this fear of being out of the comfort zone but surely, I’ll get there one step at a time. Living while growing has taught me several things that I now can’t seem to summarize to points easily pointed out in scientific results or deliberate intellectual discussions.
Honestly, I hated the phrase – growing old, because it meant that I had to face and accept the ugly truth of seeing people dying throughout the years and eventually accept my end in the long run. As bad as it gets, clarity of the mind and of the soul is what I need even when I hit rock bottom. At the end of the day, we grow older, but something tells me that we also learn to love not only ourselves but others, and of life. To be able to understand the entirety and mystery of this bubble that we’re living in is not easy, and has always been misunderstood when we were young. But for my part, just looking at the sea has helped me so much as to looking positively of what life has to offer, while growing old every second, or minute.